Summer is almost over......Thank goodness!

I love the summer time it is usually my favorite time of year. But this year I am so glad to see it go! It has been one of the hardest summer's I have ever had! I have learned a lot about myself this summer number one being I am not the tough girl I always thought I was. I always told myself that I would never let anyone make me feel bad about myself or beat me down and for some reason I let someone do that to me and I am not sure how to recover. I have always had this tough girl exterior that says you pissed me off well watch out cause I am going to run your ass over! And for some reason I have lost all fight in me, mind you I am still mean as hell not sure if that will ever go away I think that is the smith in me.

I have also learned that when you let your guard down someone is there to beat the hell out of ya! So note to self that will never happen again I will keep my guard up from now on!!

One thing that has been good is being able to spend time with family and friends. It was nice to have Rachelle here for the summer and Rashelle here for two weeks and being able to hang with her and Summer and Mikel. If it was not for my good friends I am not sure I would have made it. I want them all to know how grateful I am for them and all they have done!

I know that we are given trials in our life to help us to become better but right now I have had ENOUGH!!! NO MORE!! I can't take another thing! And I know that there are people out there who's lives are far worse than mine and I need to be grateful for all that I do have, and I am don't get me wrong I just need a little breathing room from the trials give me a day or two then throw them back at me but right now I am drowning and just need a break. I know this is kinda of a depressing post and I am sorry. I just want to say thank you to everyone that has been there for me I will never forget it! And I love you all!!